March 2, 2025. A check-in.
Every two days, Bri asks me, “kaise ho?”. One of the few people who do. Others either see me live life or get enough information from the Internet. I struggle to tell her I don’t want to answer this because I know she means it. So, this note is for her. And for myself. A check-in of how life has been lately. A long, honest answer to kaise ho.
The last one I wrote publicly was July 2024. I had no intention, but it was a Sunday morning and I was itching to write. Today’s the same. So, in no particular order –
[Update, I wrote this over 3 days. So it’s not a Sunday morning note anymore.]
Health
The best way to describe this department of my life would be freestyling. Until three months ago, I was on a health-focused sprint.
I was off (refined) sugar.
Minimal kachra.
And in control of my cravings.
I don’t know if the two are related, but a lot of people I met after those “healthy” months told me I looked weak. And I lack glow and all that. Mostly well-meaning people. I didn’t pay too much attention to it at the time. But I think it turned off a switch in my head – the one keeping me on track.
Since then, I’ve eaten what I’ve felt like. Not put any conscious effort into adding whole foods to my diet. And have given into 90% of my cravings.
Turns out, I feel weak now. I didn’t then!
So, I’ve chosen to go back to listening to my body. With a little bit of sensibility and discipline. And I will assume that the sprint worked for me. And I need to find a viable version of it that’s not brutal but sustainable.
Right now, that is: adding two boiled eggs to “feel” full. And sticking to the food Shanti aunty sends unless I’m outside for social gatherings.
And, knowing myself, I am adding a layer to that. I will try hard to NOT be harsh about the rule. If I’m feeling like shit, I will focus on running instead of getting sad about each slip I make.
Work (and Life at Large)
A/
In one word – great. And saying this feels silly because it’s a shoddy attempt. An understatement. What does great even mean? Lemme try to explain.
I have a lot going on to keep me engaged.
I go to bed feeling a lot of gratitude most times. I wake up energised.
And when it’s not that, it’s either neutral or a little bit of self-doubt. Nothing I can’t deal with.
Funnily, I am writing this at a time when I’ve had a bad day (Mar 4). After a few good weeks. There was an oversight that caused me + people around me both money and reputation. And I’ve spent all day trying to practice getting-over-things fast and not spiraling. Not 100% there yet. But I am guessing this process gets faster with time. Like most things.
Point is, I know it’s a dip. I know tomorrow will be better. I know that the answer is to show up.
B/
Some time last year, I stopped looking for structure and answers and all that. I’ve always operated in ambiguity, but there was still a part of me that wanted to know if what I am doing will work or not.
I think that’s gone now. Last few months have been a reality check in many ways. And it has taught me (among other things) that action and momentum outweigh everything else. And that when you’re moving, the need for those answers goes away.
I think it’s safe to say that I am getting closer to this – https://x.com/rmnth/status/1794889772068192696?s=46
C/
2025 (a lot like last year) has been very eventful. In all areas.
The lessons I got.
The people I met.
The things I worked on.
And I can now confirm that growth is directly proportional to how much you do, how often you show up, and how many things you say yes to.
That was all.
9.16 PM. Mar 4, 2025. Bom. Home.