Last evening, I messed up an important client presentation. For no good reason except the lack of presence of mind. And I woke up with a heavy feeling in my heart.
The last time this happened, SG pointed it out. Told me it was wrong. Had a very stern conversation about it. At the end of it, he also told me that I needed to learn to isolate such incidents from myself. To not take it personally. To know that it is a comment on my work, not on me as a person.
I asked him how. Especially because there’s no distinction between personal and work. I wake up each day to just do this. If I was employed at a company, it would be different. It would then be just a job, not my life. But, that’s not the case. My work is my life today, very deliberately.
He told me to think about Sachin. Or Othani. They wake up each day to train, to hit sixes and home runs. It’s their only job. What happens when they fail? What happens when they come back from the field without a win? They also did everything, training for that win.
The difference is in the fact that they show up the next morning. To train. Regardless of a win or a loss.
And so, this morning, I reminded myself of that. Got up from bed to sit on my desk and start again. Like day 1.
In my context, I think that’s what isolating an incident from my being means. You don’t make decisions based on one incident. You show up again. You try again.
These losses (for a lack of better word) have also taught me that I feel like I am one loss away from losing it all. Scarcity mindset.
If I want to be the person who shows up on the training ground the next morning, after wins AND losses, I think I need to shred that part of me.
I am not there yet, but I plan to get there.
Now, I think the same applies to good things and wins. I imagine Othani to train like it’s day 1 even after his best match. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be the person he is today.
Funnily, I have found this easier to do.
Maybe because I inherently believe I could lose it all someday. I consider that a strength. If I started to believe I am my wins, I would die on a high horse, parked far from where I want to be. And that would be a shame.
At least now, I only need to figure out a way to deal with losses and make sure they don’t slow me down.
11.43 AM. Oct 30, 2024. Bangalore.