In one of his recent pieces about how to be successful, Sam Altman said, “have almost too much self-belief. The most successful people I know believe in themselves almost to the point of delusion.”
While I read this a long time ago, it is only dawning upon me now. Maybe because I’ve been thinking about it so much.
Today, I’m surrounded by people who have immense faith in me. Each day, I experience a glimpse of that. I’m given the reins over important projects. I’m encouraged to make decisions independently. I’m “forced” to make mistakes while being reassured that someone always has my back.
What choice do I have then? To either take it or chicken out and remain a yes-woman who merely follows instructions.
Now, I’ve observed that the former (to take it) demands a LOT of self-belief. Especially with projects that you’ve chosen to do for yourself. Or rather, with work / projects / tasks that you are not supposed to do, but want to do.
I’ll start with some examples.
When I sit down to organise Asana or fill a review sheet for Decoding Draupadi, I notice a pattern. Most justified delays are due to:
- Genuine time or resource crunch
- Prioritization (That particular task / project wasn’t the top priority that week)
- Fear
Fear is what I want to talk about today.
An email to an accomplished founder.
The first draft of a deck I’ve never worked on earlier.
Saying yes to a project that has a steep learning curve.
While some of these were challenging or new, I knew how to do them. But I didn’t, at least not on time.
I had all that I needed (ideas, resources, support, skill, dil) except confidence in my capabilities.
Upon a LOT of thinking, I’ve realised that action is the answer to most of my miseries ✨.
Apart from helping you ship, what does action do? It shows you that you’re capable. Each time you do the thing you said you would do, you’re more likely to believe in yourself.
It’s this cycle that I want to master. To do the thing I promised myself I’d do. I think it’s one of the ways to train your self-belief muscle.
But training takes time. And consistent effort. So, while I do that, I find myself falling back on these:
1/ Detaching myself from the outcome
It’s human to want to know the outcome or the result of each thing we do. But it is what delays you from just getting started.
Here’s what helps me. I imagine the worst-case scenario. I write it down. I talk about it to someone. And almost always, it stops feeling as “worse” as I’d imagined it to be. And then, I’m ready to just do the damn thing. And not think about anything else at all.
2/ Finding people who trust me. And trusting their sense of judgement.
When I’m unable to move the needle, I remind myself of the fact that there’s a reason this is my responsibility. Someone sensible thought I was capable. And at that moment, my responsibility is to just do the thing.
This piece has been in the works for 3 days now. And it’s a coincidence that I’ve sat down to end it today (Aug 11, 11.02 a.m.) – when I’m actually supposed to be writing an email that’s a LONG SHOT. But I’m glad I’m here.
I couldn’t categorise this as a lesson, revelation, or realisation. I know why now. It’s none of that. I think it’s just a promise. One of those sit-down-to-record-a-video-for-yourself things. One that you watch when you’re down and cringe a little.
A promise to make 34593 mistakes, not think too much, and only do TOO much. If self-belief is not a natural ability, then I plan to spend the rest of my life building it.