The tough call that humbled me

“Why does everybody who is not in the field of medicine want to get into menopause? Are you really going to be able to change things?”

I think building and learning in public also means sharing the tough / weird / embarrassing bits. This one falls in that category.

I’ve been talking to gynaes around the world. And meeting some in India too. And each conversation so far has pushed me to do more.

But this tough call humbled me. And made me re-think everything I am doing.

Building a platform for women to find more doctors and practitioners?
“Independent clinics are shrinking. You’re walking in a dead end.”

Building a tool to enable doctors who work with women in midlife?
“Large clinics and chains don’t need you. They already have systems to manage pre-appointment intakes, follow-ups, etc.”

Want to do more content with women who offer care for women in midlife?
“Everyone’s tried it. Until you’ve got a way to awe people, shock people, nothing’s going to work.”

I wanted to bury myself in some place and not come out for a few days. Really. I told Aarya Badhe about it too.

But but but, after counting to 100 and in hindsight, I think she also gave me the most important insight. Which I am choosing to learn from.

That the biggest issue is — women don’t even seek help or visit a doctor. And till that doesn’t happen, everything else is just noise.

At least in India and some other parts around the world, women have been generationally taught to believe that discomfort in midlife is a part of life. And you do not seek help for that. You live with it.

I realise that we’re talking to, and will solve for, women across different stages:

• Someone who doesn’t think they need help.
• Someone who doesn’t know they can ask for it.
• Someone who’s sought help and care and failed.
• Someone who’s working with someone, hoping for outcomes.

Different stage. Different hope. Different reason to seek help and manage what they’re going through.

And yes, one of these stages means we at Yellow must first help women have the awareness of what’s up and then believe that they don’t need to live with discomfort.

But it also means there are other women who’re trying. Who are seeking help. Who are a few steps ahead in the attempt to manage symptoms better.

The first doesn’t take away the need for the second. There’s also no “math” to which one’s more important.

So, for now, after a few days of these conversations, I’ve decided to NOT take a u-turn. But to sit with the decisions we’ve made, build on the ideas we have, and talk to more people.

No knee-jerk reactions. Patience. And pragmatism.

P.S. A happy picture from the same evening. When I stepped out to see a woman I love. To jam about Yellow for menopause and life and work and ambition.

I’m learning and building Yellow in public. As we figure what it takes to help women live their best 30s, 40s, and 50s.